เท่ากับ

Confession #1: I've stopped taking pictures to post here. I've sacrificed what was left of my tourist perspective, and with this I have let the desire to show off (or exploit) my experiences, and the lives of the people I love here. And, in all honesty, though I love and fully appreciate the art of photography, I am not usually one to be found behind the camera.

Though I wish you could be here with me to soak up every detail of landscape, to memorize every laugh line in the faces I meet, to inhale the smells as I walk through the street markets, you will have to simply use your imagination until I return to fill in the colours you cannot know from your side of the planet.

Confession #2: There is something that I've been wanting to post about for the last couple weeks, something I saw for only a brief few seconds in passing, but something that will stay with me. Because of the quality of internet and my schedule that has not been generous in terms of flexibility as of late, I've not been able to write this. So I will now.

A couple weeks ago I was en route to the day market with two of the Imagine Thailand staff, Li-Mei and Day Mu, both of whom have become some of my closest friends. Li-Mei is an amazing Thai woman, the project manager and co-founder of IT. She is someone I admire in ways that ignite a desire in me to be like her. I have enjoyed so many conversations with her that I will not soon forget. Day Mu (whom I have written about in previous posts) is a beautiful Karen girl, 21 years old. The depths of her heart and soul are hidden and guarded from the world of outsiders much of the time, but when you breakthrough to her truest character, you'll find she is much more than what she lets on.

Anyway, we were walking through the day market in downtown Mae Sot with the intention of selling the IT coinage for bills. The majority of the vendors in this market are Karen or Burmese. In fact, the majority of the people I meet and see in this city are Karen or Burmese. To live in Mae Sot is not to live in Thailand. To live in Mae Sot is to live in Burma (something that is obvious to both the farang and the Thai nationals). However true this statement may be, many of the Karen/Burmese refugees living outside of the refugee camps set for them are living in this country illegally. Though Thailand has become home to many displaced people from Burma, the place of their nationality will be the only place they will know as a true home - and most will only know it from a distance.

On this day, I watched as a Thai police officer led a Burmese man to what could have very likely been his arrest and escort back to his homeland.

I'm not sure what else to write about this image that has replayed itself in my mind. I'm not sure how to fully communicate the gravity of this situation, or the possibilities of what an arrest could mean for a Burmese person living in Thailand. I'm not sure how to speak of the power imbalances that are so obvious in this place. I don't know how to share about the racism and inequality between these neighbouring nations, two countries that have made deep imprints on my character and soul.

All I can say is that your imagination will have to fill in the blanks with either realistic or unrealistic endings, or simply digest the words I write and try to find some meaning in the empty pockets between them. I will invite you to do the latter, unless you have been cursed with a weak stomach.

What to pray for...
Freedom in Burma.
Equality in Thailand.