My Top 20 Albums of 2011

This list is in no particular order, other than alphabetical...

1. The Age of Adz - Sufjan Stevens
2. Barton Hollow - The Civil Wars
3. Beautiful Things - The Michael Gungor Band
4. Bon Iver - Bon Iver
5. Ceremonials - Florence + The Machine
6. David Comes to Life - Fucked Up
7. Economy - John Mark McMillan
8. Eureka - Mother Mother
9. Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes
10. Hurry Up, We're Dreaming - M83
11. Lights of Endangered Species - Matthew Good
12. Mine Is Yours - Cold War Kids
13. Mylo Xyloto - Coldplay
14. Neighborhoods - Blink-182
15. Odd Soul - MuteMath
16. Ritual - White Lies
17. Take Care, Take Care, Take Care - Explosions In The Sky
18. Ukulele Songs - Eddie Vedder
19. The Valley - Eisley
20. 21 - Adele

I found this today.

the veritably real

I've decided I want to start writing here again.
I mean, I realize I should have written at least one 'Welcome Home' post since my return from Southeast Asia in the spring.
But I'd like to write my real thoughts here now - not simple life updates through which my heartbeat cannot be felt. Yes. I'd like to write real life now.

It's been a whirlwind.

Tonight is my last night in Mae Sot. I can't believe I've been in Thailand for 3 months already, and frankly, I'm not ready to leave. That's the trouble with putting your heart into people, and ministries, and places... There are pieces of it left behind with an ache acting as a temporary replacement to fill the tiny voids. Tonight I can feel that ache clearer than I ever have before. But there's a part of me that is rejoicing at the reality of this new grief because it only means that I loved during my time here, and loved well.

The list of things that I will miss when I leave Thailand is endless I'm sure. I will miss the heat and the sun; driving and riding motorbikes; Thai lessons; Thai food; Burma and this nations refugee people; migrant schools. I will these things with all of me, but the real reasons I pray to live my life in Mae Sot are my Karen friends in this city. Please keep praying for them, for their families, for their nation, for their freedom.

As I'm getting ready to continue on this journey jumping to yet another adventure I am reminded of all the ways that God has refined my character - everything in me that He has pruned or discarded, the freedom from fear that I have known in this place, the confidence in knowing that I am called. I am thankful for every experience, even the experience of being thrown off the back of a motorbike onto the rough concrete below. And I look ahead to what the future might bring as a result of this trip, perhaps a life in Thailand but definitely a life anchored in a long term missions philosophy.

Tomorrow morning I'm heading to Chiang Mai with the Hansons and Li-Mei for a couple days to say my final goodbyes. On Tuesday I will take a night bus with Li-Mei & Lorelie to Bangkok where I will (hopefully) meet with Peter & Cavelle Dove on my way out of the country, and on Wednesday evening I will fly from BKK to Guongzhou, China. The whirlwind continues...

I look ahead to the next phase of my internship with joy, newly awakened passion, Karen clothing, and a great tan. I look ahead with anticipation about meeting up with my Chinese friends, and excitement in leading new teams. I look ahead though I know there will be more than a few moments I will look back.

What to pray for...
Mae Sot, Burma, Imagine Thailand, the Hansons, the Doves, the Thai and Karen staff, my relationships in this place, and the new ministries born out of them.
Healing in my heart from the ensuing sadness in leaving.
My time in China, that I would be fully present, that we would thank God for our opportunities there, and that we would love well.

Gypsies

The Morken (mor-gan) community is a small neighbourhood of about 300. There are only three different last names, meaning that incest has been practiced throughout the last few generations. Half the population is under the age of 18. Alcoholism, teenage pregnancy, lack of education, poverty and unemployment are the top injustices (whether self-inflicted or otherwise) within this tiny community. Historically, the Morkens have been residence of the coasts of southern Thailand living a nomadic "gypsy" lifestyle for the past hundred years or more, but because of their nomadic cultural practices they have not received Thai identification until recently (last 20 years or so). As you may have read in my previous posts about Burmese refugees in Thailand, obtaining status or privilege in this country without a Thai ID is next to impossible.

And so, the marginalization of the Morken community has been happening for generations, perhaps centuries, and it continues today. They have Thai identification but they are still not considered to be true Thai people by the majority of society. They are poor. They are dirty. They are uneducated. They are broken.

Similar to the community of The Mustard Seed that I belong to in Edmonton, this people group displays characteristics of deeply honest community - but it is still an unhealthy community.

The day that I spent there I taught worship songs to children, played games with tofu pudding, and encouraged them in the importance of keeping their neighbourhood clean. Other people on our team taught about checking for and treating head lice. They also taught some people how to make their own hand soap. Imagine Thailand is involved within the Morken community as part of the health & wellness initiative, but we are hoping to create and sustain healthy relationship here to further our involvement. The last thing we want is to just be another organization, another NGO acting out of well intentioned compassion but not displaying willingness to stick it out with these people.

In my opinion, the only way that real change will happen among the Morken is through incarnational ministry. Someone who loves Jesus needs to move into their neighbourhood, live with them and like them, and be willing to serve them no matter what. A ten year commitment... That's how we will see transformation.

Am I the person for the job? Maybe. It's not beyond the realm of consideration for my post-grad plans. But it will be a hope, a prayer, and a dream for the Morken people that I will always carry with me.

It's been far too long...

This is my first post in what feels like 10 years due to two things: #1. It has been quite long compared with the frequency with which I had been updating, and #2. I have experienced so much since March 8th. Just so everyone can catch up with me, here's a quick timeline of what I've been up to since then...

1. I drove to Bangkok from Mae Sot with my friends Li-Mei and Brian. Ok, so I didn't drive, but I pumped the road trip tunes in the truck the whole way. That counts for something.
2. Two days later I boarded the night bus from BKK to Takua Pa, a city in the south of Thailand, with Li-Mei and Courtney, the eldest Hanson daughter.
3. I visited one of the schools that Imagine Thailand has been heavily involved with since the tsunami ripped through this southern community in 2004. It was through the relationships that were built out of the need that was presented following the tsunami that IT was founded.
4. I spent an evening in Phuket, one of the hottest spots for tourism in Thailand. We saw The Adjustment Bureau and ate pizza. This was the only place I've seen more foreigners than Thai people.
5. I laid on the quiet beaches of Takua Pa for a day. I got a sunburn but it was so worth it.
6. I went with Conny Hermelink (the health & wellness coordinator of IT), Li-Mei, Brian, and Lek (the Thai leadership of the IT south team) to help with hygiene and cleanliness awareness in the Morken community just outside Takua Pa. The Morken community is, historically, a nomadic "gypsie" people group who has resided along the coasts of Thailand for over a hundred years. Because of their nomadic nature they are not respected among Thais, and have actually just been able to receive Thai IDs within the last 20 years. I'll write more about this experience next - stay tuned.
7. I flew from Phuket back to BKK.
8. I was administrative assistant to the IT BKK staff for a few days helping with the planning and scheduling of the upcoming teams heading to the south with IT (IBEX & Vanguard!).
9. I ate at a restaurant that serves only toast and milk. It's been open since 1964. Go figure.
10. I met our short term team from Kelowna at the BKK airport.
11. I rode a bicycle through Ancient Siam, a park shaped like the country of Thailand with scaled down versions of important historical landmarks. 
12. I took the bus from BKK to Mae Sot with the Kelowna team. The trip wasn't great, but I love each person in this group of 30 making it more than bearable.

I've been back in Mae Sot for 28 hours now, and I can already tell that this busy week is going to fly by. I'm going to post as much as I can these next couple weeks - who knows how much internet access I'll get once I'm in China, but I'll do my best. Hard to believe that I only have 17 days left in this country... I don't know if I'll be ready to leave.

What to pray for...
The team here from Emmanuel Church in Westbank, BC. They are 12-19 and for most this is their first missions experience.
The Life Camps that we are starting tomorrow. These are VBS camps to help create documentation for stateless migrant children living in Mae Sot.
For the relationships I've built here to be sustained despite distance.
That I would finish my internship well, with excellence.
That I would begin to be prepared to lead the teams in China next month.

Research Notes on Burma

I've been doing research on the current political situation of Burma for an assignment my internship supervisors. These are the notes that have ensued. I've learned so much in the last few days compiling these notes, and I thought some of you might be interested in reading the fruits of my labours.

Feel free to gorge yourselves on the unbelievable history of this broken nation.

Burma

Officially known as the Republic of the Union of Myanmar (named as part of the 2008 Constitution, only one of many renaming events in the history of Burma)

Introduction

·         Diversity in ethnicities have defined politics, religion, history, and characterize much of the struggle still today

·         In 1962, General Ne Win led a coup to overthrow the government of U Nu

·         Despite the human rights defying nature of the current government, Burma is a member of the United Nations (UN)

·         Burma is led by a military junta; the majority of ministry and cabinet posts are held by military officers, with the exceptions being the Ministry of Health, the Ministry of Labor, the Ministry of Education, and the Ministry of National Planning & Economic Development

·         Military reign has been in power and led by General Than Shwe since 1992, who is still in power today

·         In 1990 the People’s Assembly election formed the NCGUB (National Coalition Government of the Union of Burma), a government in exile with the mission of restoring democracy based in Rockville, Maryland, USA

Etymology

·         The name of the country refers to the majority of Burmese people within the population

·         The renaming of the country to Myanmar represents the power of the military being exercised to name cities, towns, and areas after ethnicities (primarily the Burmese) rather than the place itself

·         There is division among other nations and organizations about the validity of the name change

Political History – Colonization of Burma

·         The first Anglo-Burmese war was from 1824 to 1826

·         This was the first of three wars fought between British & Burmese Empires over the control of northeastern India

·         The British Empire won, requiring that Burma pay an indemnity of one million pounds sterling (roughly 18.5 to 48 million US dollars in 2006) and sign a commercial treaty

·         This was the longest and most expensive war in British Indian history and the beginning of the end of the independence of Burma

·         This first war weakened the economy and entire nation of Burma, when the British Empire declared war upon Burma twice more, giving control of Burma to the British in 1885

·         Burma was known as a province of British India until 1937

·         During the colonial era, there was much disrespect for Burmese culture by the British “invaders” creating violent riots, often paralyzing Yangon, until the 1930s

·         The vote for keeping Burma within India divided the populace, setting the scene for future insurgencies

From Democracy to Military Empowerment

·         Democratic rule ended in 1962 with a coup d’etat led by General Ne Win

·         Democracy, as well as the NCGUB, has been outlawed by the military government

·         There are currently over 2,000 political prisoners in Burma

·         Ne Win ruled for 26 years leading the nation under the Burmese Way to Socialism

·         Every aspect of society came under government control during this time

·         To consolidate power, Ne Win and other top military generals resigned from the military taking civilian positions

·         They started the one-party election system in 1974 (Burma Socialist Programme Party – the only party from 1964-1988)

·         During this time Burma became one of the world’s most impoverished countries

·         Ne Win’s rise to power included his persecution of “resident aliens,” immigrants living in Burma who were not recognized as citizens of Burma (including but not exclusively Indian Burmese and Indo-European people groups)

·         From the beginning there were protests and demonstrations held by students across the nation, and were almost always broken up violently by the military rule

·         In 1988, martial law was imposed when the military opened fire on demonstrators in what is known as the 8888 Uprising

·         In their first election in nearly 30 years (in 1990), the National League for Democracy led by Aung San Suu Kyi won over 60% of the vote and 80% of the parliamentary seats

·         The military-backed National Unity Party won only 2%

·         Although the NLD won the election, the military refused to step down, falsifying the election

·         In response to her democratic politics, she has been under house arrest for 15 of the 21 years from 1989 to 2010, until November 13, 2010 when she was finally released

Government & Military Corruption

·         Along with Afghanistan, Burma ranks 176^th of 180 nations on the Corruption Perceptions Index

·         There is international consensus that the military regime of Burma is one of the world’s most repressive and abusive regimes

·         There is national internet restriction, similar to the Great Fire Wall in China

·         Forced labor, human trafficking, and child labor are common practices

·         The military is known for using dishonest propaganda and advertising techniques to convince new generations to view the Burmese soldiers as heroes

·         Unlike the KNU, who appeals only to their own Karen people, the Burmese army is happy to accept anyone regardless of their ethnicity

·         Young boys being forced to serve and fight with the Burmese army, regardless of their ethnic background, is common

·         It has been argued that Burma has the highest number of child soldiers in the world

·         The military is also known for using sexual violence as a means of control, even taking sex slaves along as porters

·         There is absolutely no freedom of speech, assembly or association

·         The government has placed a restriction on the humanitarian aid and work of international organizations, including restrictions on the work and movement of international staff within Burma

·         The work and philosophies of these organizations must always “enhance and safeguard national interest”

·         The UN has declared these restrictions to be unacceptable

Economy

·         Burma spends the least percentage of its GDP on healthcare than any other nation in the world

·         In 2007, Doctors Without Borders reported there were 25,000 deaths due to AIDS in Burma, which could have been prevented with Anti Retroviral Treatment drugs and treatment

·         The Burmese military receives most of its weapons from Russia, Ukraine, China & India, all nations of which still trade with and economically support Burma despite the military regime

·         Burma is a corner of the Golden Triangle of opium production

·         The Golden Triangle is currently second in global opium production to Afghanistan

·         Under British administration, Burma was the second wealthiest nation of Southeast Asia, second only to Philippines

·         Currently, Burma is one of the poorest nations of the world, with an economy suffering from decades of stagnation, mismanagement, and isolation

·         In 1987 Burma admitted to the UN given status of the Least Developed Country (but not before dropping their literacy rate from 78.6% to 18.7% to qualify for debt relief from the UN), highlighting their economic bankruptcy

·         The economy of Burma is rated the second Least Free Economy of Asia, one down from North Korea

The Karen People & Current Situation

The History of a Cultural Genocide

·         There are 135 recognized ethnic groups in Burma, with at least 108 ethno-linguistic people groups

·         The Karen make up 7% of the approximate 50 million people of Burma – the second largest ethnic group next to Burmese

·         1950 the Karen became the largest people group to stand against the military government, leading to their persecution by the Burmese army

·         Tensions between the Karen and the Burmese had long existed prior to the open fighting that happened in WWII

·         Burmese army has been accused of “ethnic cleansing,” also known as cultural genocide, but has not been recognized by the international community as the targeting of the Karen has been more subtle and indirect than the killings in places like Rwanda

·         Up to 200,000 Karen people have been forced out of their homes and villages, with an additional 120,000 refugees living on the Thai-Burma border in camps

·         More than 2 million people have fled Burma to Thailand as a result of this ongoing war

Political & Military History

·         In 1917, the KNA (Karen National Associations, founded in 1881) argued that Burma was not yet in a state fit for self governance

·         In 1938, the British colonial administration recognized Karen New Year as a public holiday

·         The Karen desired to have the areas where they were the majority ethnic group formed into a subdivision or state but in 1946 the British did not encourage any separatist movements by the Karen people

·         Political meetings with the British government in the late 1940s almost always excluded the ethnic minority groups, giving precedence to the needs and demands of the Burmese

·         The British made promises to further examine the situation of the Karen following the war, but the Karen people group was not acknowledged again until the British left Burma

·         The Karen were not represented in the drawing of the Constitution in 1947 because of their boycott of the elections to the Constituent Assembly

·         The formation of the Karen National Union (KNU) was formed a month following this event

·         The initial goal of the KNU was to gain independence, but since 1976 the armed group has called for a federal system rather than an independent Karen State

·         When independence was granted to Burma after the war in 1948, the Karen attempted to live peacefully with the Burmese

·         Karen people held high positions in both government and military

·         In the fall of 1948 the Burmese government of U Nu began raising and arming irregular political militias known as the Sitwundan, which were under the command of General Ne Win, a fanatic Burmese nationalist and the future leader of the military regime in Burma

·         In January 1949 some of these militias went on a rampage through some Karen communities

·         Following this event the Army Chief of Staff, General Smith Dun, a Karen, was removed from office and imprisoned, and was replaced by Ne Win

·         The Karen National Defense Organization (KNDO, formed in 1947) then rose up in an insurgency against the government

·         Later, the Karen were the largest of 20 people groups participating in an insurgency against the military dictatorship in Rangoon

·         In the 1980s, the Karen National Liberation Army (KNLA, which is the armed wing of the KNU) was fighting with a force of about 20,000, but by 2006 they were fighting with less 4,000 opposite a 400,000 strong Burmese army

·         In 1994, 5 dissenters from the Buddhist minority of the KNLA created a split group against the KNU known as the Democratic Karen Buddhist Army (DKBA), and joined to the side of the military junta, which is believed to have led to the fall of the KNU headquarters in 1995

I would forfeit my privilege for you.

Yesterday afternoon I had one of those shocking-never-forget-it kind of experiences.

I was invited to go to the Mae Sot city dump with Compasio, an NGO whose office is directly across the road from ours. The dump is one of the regular locations of their weekly ministries, giving simple medical attention where needed, building relationship with the 50+ families living there, and playing with the kids among the heaps of garbage they call home.

As we drove towards the mountains of waste and evidence of over consumption, it took everything in me not to burst into tears or throw up with disgust. On the way we stopped to pick up barefoot kids with greasy hair, dirty mismatched clothes, and hands and feet blackened from playing in decomposing trash. They were thrilled to sit with us on mats to colour pages torn out of colouring books with crayons that were melting in the nearing 40C weather.

After only spending about an hour here my throat and lungs stung from the stench. This is a life that many children here were born into. They have never known what clean air tastes like.

One of the migrant schools that Imagine Thailand is building a relationship with is located a few minutes walk from this neighbourhood (if you can even call it that) that consists of Burmese migrant people. It seems that after fleeing their home country they immediately settled in the dump, some families having lived there for nearly 10 years now, perhaps longer. I learned that these families have no desire to move despite the dirty water they drink, despite the sickness that plagues their children from rolling around in garbage all day long, despite the clothing and food that they live without. Their reasoning? They are safe there. The dump, being a dirty out-of-sight-out-of-mind place, is not somewhere that Thai police spend their efforts. This means the illegal immigrants living there are safe from the potential of being arrested unlike other Burmese refugees living illegally throughout this city. The dump people will never have to bribe an officer with money they do not have in exchange for the safety of their families. They will never have to continue in the running from oppression that is known as the lifestyle of migration.

But just because they are content to live in the waste of other people (and their own), doesn't mean that we, as the Church, should be content with their contentment. God is not content with this. He has not settled in hopelessness for His children like they have; like we have. There is more beyond the confines of mountain high (literally) piles of garbage for these people. There is hope. There is justice. There is freedom.

The question is how can we as believers walk with them towards these things? towards life?

There is more.

What to pray for...
Consistent healthcare for these families.
Access to clean water.
Hope to penetrate this impossible situation.
Jesus to be shown and seen among these people.

2/3

Today is day 56 of 112 of my internship.
I will only be living in Thailand for another 37 days, 2 weeks of which will be spent travelling in the south (Takua Pa) and Bangkok, followed by another 2 weeks of short term teams.
And then I'm done here.

The thought of leaving this place is like the long awaited arrival of grief. Oddly enough it is also an exhilaration to be found in the face of a new adventure just around the corner.



And then I will be home. The list of feelings, reactions and emotions that come with this reality is much too extensive to post. I'm sure you can imagine it.

เท่ากับ

Confession #1: I've stopped taking pictures to post here. I've sacrificed what was left of my tourist perspective, and with this I have let the desire to show off (or exploit) my experiences, and the lives of the people I love here. And, in all honesty, though I love and fully appreciate the art of photography, I am not usually one to be found behind the camera.

Though I wish you could be here with me to soak up every detail of landscape, to memorize every laugh line in the faces I meet, to inhale the smells as I walk through the street markets, you will have to simply use your imagination until I return to fill in the colours you cannot know from your side of the planet.

Confession #2: There is something that I've been wanting to post about for the last couple weeks, something I saw for only a brief few seconds in passing, but something that will stay with me. Because of the quality of internet and my schedule that has not been generous in terms of flexibility as of late, I've not been able to write this. So I will now.

A couple weeks ago I was en route to the day market with two of the Imagine Thailand staff, Li-Mei and Day Mu, both of whom have become some of my closest friends. Li-Mei is an amazing Thai woman, the project manager and co-founder of IT. She is someone I admire in ways that ignite a desire in me to be like her. I have enjoyed so many conversations with her that I will not soon forget. Day Mu (whom I have written about in previous posts) is a beautiful Karen girl, 21 years old. The depths of her heart and soul are hidden and guarded from the world of outsiders much of the time, but when you breakthrough to her truest character, you'll find she is much more than what she lets on.

Anyway, we were walking through the day market in downtown Mae Sot with the intention of selling the IT coinage for bills. The majority of the vendors in this market are Karen or Burmese. In fact, the majority of the people I meet and see in this city are Karen or Burmese. To live in Mae Sot is not to live in Thailand. To live in Mae Sot is to live in Burma (something that is obvious to both the farang and the Thai nationals). However true this statement may be, many of the Karen/Burmese refugees living outside of the refugee camps set for them are living in this country illegally. Though Thailand has become home to many displaced people from Burma, the place of their nationality will be the only place they will know as a true home - and most will only know it from a distance.

On this day, I watched as a Thai police officer led a Burmese man to what could have very likely been his arrest and escort back to his homeland.

I'm not sure what else to write about this image that has replayed itself in my mind. I'm not sure how to fully communicate the gravity of this situation, or the possibilities of what an arrest could mean for a Burmese person living in Thailand. I'm not sure how to speak of the power imbalances that are so obvious in this place. I don't know how to share about the racism and inequality between these neighbouring nations, two countries that have made deep imprints on my character and soul.

All I can say is that your imagination will have to fill in the blanks with either realistic or unrealistic endings, or simply digest the words I write and try to find some meaning in the empty pockets between them. I will invite you to do the latter, unless you have been cursed with a weak stomach.

What to pray for...
Freedom in Burma.
Equality in Thailand.

I pawned my ordinary life and bought adventure...

It seems that I am getting progressively worse at keeping this up to date. I don't feel the slightest bit of guilt or remorse in this, simply for the reasoning that lies behind this fact: I am living my life.

This past week has been the best of the last 7 weeks that I've been in Thailand. This last week I had no doubts about my belonging on the Imagine Thailand team. This last week I felt so strongly about my roles in Mae Sot, what it means for me to be living in this place, and the communities that I am now a part of for the length of my commitment here, and probably beyond what even my comprehension is at this point. All of these things have been an answer to prayer, my own, as well as the prayers of the support system I have at home - you. Thank you.

On Saturday we went back to the cave we discovered (and by discovered I mean it's a high traffic touristy kind of place) but this time we brought a few friends from various NGOs in Mae Sot. The hike was a huge success. We went to the very end of the cave, which wasn't nearly as big or as far as we were made to believe on our last visit, and in the last room of the cave there is a small body of water - I'm not sure if you could call it a lake, or a pond, but it was more than just a puddle. Whatever it was, we took a bit of a dip, some going further into the mud-floored waters than others. It was great, just as great as I had tried to explain after our first visit.

I know the question that is plaguing your minds as you read this is, "Well, Kat, what did you do today?" Well, friends, today I climbed to the top of two waterfalls, two different locations, both as gorgeous as you could imagine a waterfall in Thailand is. Instead of killing ourselves working today, everyone took a day off, a day to rest, a day to sleep in, a day to recharge. We all agreed that climbing waterfalls and swimming at the reservoir was the best way to spend this day. If you've never climbed a waterfall, sat down and let the water rush around you while allowing yourself to be lost in the view from the top of the world, you must immediately do so at your next convenience.

I love this life of adventure, and all the unknowns that are brought along with it. I love that climbing mountains, hiking into caves, swimming in waterfalls, loving God, and loving people are all connected; all small parts of the bigger picture of my life in Mae Sot.
_____________________________________________________________________

I don't know how we live with such safety and caution in Canada.

I am currently reading through The Chronicles of Narnia, and I am about halfway through The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. An idea that C.S. Lewis has made me aware of in the last few years is written in this book with regards to Aslan, the Lion King of the land of Narnia, who is without a shadow of a doubt a reflection or parallel to God the Father, King over all. He writes that Aslan is, "not safe. But he is good."

God is not safe. But He is good.

Safety is an idol among North Americans, and a cage that is not very kind. Why do we lock ourselves in for the sake of protecting a life that is slowly expiring anyway? God carries my life in His hands, and He will take it however He wants when He pleases. This is not a license to live foolishly, but I will live with reckless abandon, taking in all the experiences I can. And why shouldn't I?

Do something adventurous today. I dare you.

O God, make my heart clean...

Tonight I realized that I spend way too much time talking/complaining about things I do/don't want to do. I may not say these things out loud, but they're in my head and in my heart, the part of me that is supposed to be the wellspring of life, not an open grave.

This is not about me.
My life is no longer mine.

Thank God for correction, for discipline, that I can choose wisdom over selfishness and rebelliousness.

Batcave... Seriously.

Today I had an experience that I just absolutely must share.

Friday morning started with six people from our team driving half an hour out of Mae Sot into the mountains that so beautifully grace the terrain of Thailand. It was fairly cool on the drive out, especially since I was riding in the back of the truck at 120km/h, but the whole way I couldn't help but pray, couldn't help but worship. It reminded me of roadtrips through Southwestern Ontario as a kid, watching farmers sort the irrigation systems in the giant corn fields passing by on the highway. It also reminded me of driving up to the foothills of the Himalayas in India. Two images that are literally oceans apart, both carrying significance in my mind.

We pulled up to a row of mountains, a parking lot, a few restaurants, and a handful of small hot springs areas where people were boiling eggs (something you will never see in Banff or Jasper) at the base. When our guide finally arrived we followed him on a kilometer hike upwards until we reached the opening of a cave that was deeper and longer than the height of the mountain that contained it.

We climbed down into the mountain for what seemed like nearly an eternity, the temperature recognizably hotter with every 5 feet we descended, the lighting dimishing with every step. We had a couple flashlights with us, and there were a few small lights hung over the ladders taking us deeper, but still my eyes strained to see where my feet were going.

Our trek was about an hour and a half all in all - the hike up taking 30 minutes, the descent into the cave and the climb out taking about an hour altogether. Our guide told us that from the deepest part that we reached there was still another 2 hours to walk into the cave. There are 13 "rooms" in all, we made it to the first three, the first one being home to what seemed like hundreds of sleeping bats. In the room furthest from the entry point there is a small lake. Next time we go we decided we're going to do the whole thing and see if we can swim at the end.


It was seriously one of the most incredible things I have ever seen; definitely a hidden gem of Mae Sot. I know pictures and words could never do it justice, but here are a few anyway.

After all is said and done, I'm ready for round two!



Just before climbing out, dripping with sweat...

















Vanguard Mae Sot team, this is what you have to look forward to. Be excited.

Bread & Words

"He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the Lord." -Deutoronomy 8:3

So, I started a Bible study.

Now let me give you some context, some of which might be repeat information, but stick with me.
We run a Sunday School kids program Sunday mornings at a Burmese/Karen migrant school called Ray Kaw Htoo (ray-kah-two), which also happens to be the school I teach grade 2 & 3 English at on Monday mornings. This is not a coincidence, but rather strategic planning.

I had been thinking and praying about the format of our Sunday morning kids program, particularly in the area of sustainability and future leadership. The truth of the matter is that in 56 days I will be on a plane heading to China; in 6 months, the Hansons will be Canada-bound. The reality is that with the program being run as it is now, when we leave the program ends.

I'm usually not much of a children's ministry kind of person. Normally, I would think to myself, "Oh, ya, that's too bad," and there would no consequential thought following. But because God has recently been speaking to me about living with intention, living with vision, and living out the call that He has placed upon my life, I couldn't shake the sadness that washed over me when I thought of the Word of God not being preached in that place after we leave.

That's when Holy Spirit spoke to me. That's when the trickle-down-discipleship-model I have been repeatedly taught came to good use. There is already a leadership model in place within the school - headmaster, teachers (and in this case, the teachers do most of the overall leading), and students, the student body having it's own unspoken leadership roles in place as well. Why not use this leadership system to our advantage? Why not disciple the teachers, present them with Sunday School curriculum, and show them how they can disciple their students? It's actually the perfect set-up.

And, so, a couple of Mondays ago following my teaching time, I approached Nora Htoo, an 18 year old teacher I have become quite close with, about the idea of starting a Bible study. We had had a number of in depth conversations about faith, Bible college, and religion that I knew she was already a follower of The Way, and I knew she would be open to the idea. Two days later Courtney, Htwe Htwe (one of Imagine Thailand's Burmese staff who is still on the fence in her walk with Christ) and I made our way, Bibles in hand, to study the Gospel of Mark with Nora Htoo and T'Kaw Wah, a quiet 22 year old English teacher - turns out she knows Jesus too. Even as I write this I'm feeling as though this whole ordeal had already been orchestrated long before it came to my knowledge...?

Last night was our second meeting. I couldn't help but let my soul rejoice, joy and excitement overflowing from the depths of my heart as I sat with these two beautiful Karen women. One can read only Burmese, the other only Karen. As we begin discussing each section through Mark we each read the passage in a different language, first me in English, Nora Htoo follows in Burmese, and T'Kaw Wah after her in Karen. Seeing three different Bibles in three different languages laying open on the table in the tiny concrete box of a classroom last night, fluorescent lights flickering, mosquitoes eating at our feet, I saw and felt and knew God in such an overt and obvious way. He is opening their ears and minds and hearts to knowing Him deeper, and loving Him better.

They have been reading the Bible every day since our first meeting. They are both so hungry for His Word - this passion to know God is absolutely contagious that I find myself getting more and more excited each day to be in the Word.

I can tell that we are all thankful for one another. God is using each of us; God is growing each of us.

My relationship with this school, with Nora Htoo, T'Kaw Wah, the other teachers and the students has deepened so much in the last month. I know that leaving that place for the last time will feel like the tearing away of skin from skin.

But for now, I soak in every moment I have there. I let my soul sing out in praise for what He is doing in that place, and I pray for the continuation of these discipleship classes, whether formal or informal, long after our team has said our final goodbyes.

What to pray for...
Pray for depth to each of Nora Htoo's & T'Kaw Wah's (t'gah-wah) relationships with Christ.
Pray that out of their infilling of Holy Spirit they will begin to pour into their students spiritually.
Pray for sustainability in our programs by national leadership.
Pray for a church to be planted in this community.

1/3

First things first... I made a video of a sort of dinner theatre we attended at a mirgrant school last weekend - but it failed. And so, you will just have to imagine homemade costumes of shiny fabrics, traditional Burmese music mixed with just the right amount of house beats, and the cutest Karen children dancing for hours while serving us roti and chicken and unripened mango. It was a great night - definitely a favourite in the last month, a close second being the day we went to this same school to treat lice and ringworm.

Strange that I've been here a month already. I feel like I just stepped on the plane from Edmonton, anxiety and excitement boiling in the deepest parts of my heart. At the same time, I feel like I've been here much much longer... I have reached a point of a certain kind of contentment and comfortability as the bones of my life here in Mae Sot take on flesh. I feel that I have been given opportunity through Imagine Thailand to carve out a ministry for myself, within the already existing ministry. I feel like my life here is the only one I have. I feel like I belong here.

At times I feel like my life and ministry here are so eclectic, and maybe just a bit outside the lines, though I mostly enjoy this aspect of it.

There are hard days. There are moments I become a little more than curious about my life at home (sometimes bordering on worry). There are trials, and victories, and discouragements, and moments of hope scattered throughout. But in it all I am reminded that I am exactly where I am called to be. Even when I am crying through a disagreement with my Imagine Thailand family, even when I'm sick of teaching English, even when I am lonely and wishing for a good friend to be near... God is faithful, and constant, and so good that I could never doubt His presence in my life or the call He's given me to do "greater things."

We will never forget the revolution...

Today is Karen Revolution Day.

On January 31st, 1951 the Karen military stood against the Burmese military in Karen State, Burma to fight for the lives of the Karen people, as men were imprisoned against their will and made to fight alongside their enemies; women and children raped and killed with their husbands, brothers, and sons made to watch.

Sixty years of war has ravaged this nation. Sixty years of war with no end in sight. Sixty years with the potential of freedom and democracy stolen from just beyond the fingertips of the citizens of Burma.
Sixty years.

In refugee camps there are celebrations today celebrating the courage of so many Karen soldiers. They celebrate the option given to stand against oppression that was given to many this day sixty years ago.

But some do not think this day a celebration. Some believe that any war - any amount of violence - is nothing less than a tragedy.

On January 31st, 1951 the lives of millions were changed forever, as this day is looked to as one that began the fleeing of the 500,000 people (if not more) who have become refugees in Thailand.

I pray that they would know You, Lord

Sometimes I need to be reminded that I am not only passionate about community development; not only do I want to see systemic change and justice brought to the world.

There are so many good organizations and NGOs that are working so hard at changing our world for the better, and I do want to be a part of this, don't get me wrong. But the real reason that I am drawn to live missionally is Jesus. The most foundational justification for my temporary living in Thailand is to be a light in the darkness, to love people like Christ loves, and to introduce people to the living God.

If my ultimate motivation is anything other than the salvation of the unsaved, it is not enough.

Pray that I would be aware of this at every second - that I would know that without preaching the Gospel, my life is fruitless.

A More Personal Burma

Yesterday afternoon we had the Discovery Tour over to the Hanson's for khao mu daang... red pork with rice, for all those who do not speak Thai.

Oh, wait - let me give you some context here.

For the last 2 days the Imagine Thailand Mae Sot team has been host to a donor tour group from Canada. These are people who are, either personally or corporately as a church body, investing in this organization and the minsitry here, and were interested in actually seeing those ministries up close and personal. They spent time in Bangkok, Mae Sot and are headed to Phuket & Takua Pa in the South next. It's less than a STM, but more than a group of tourists.

Through this group we were able to install a new water system (provided by Point Gray Community Church in Vancouver) and connect a Christian school in Saskatoon with a school in dire need of clean water in Mae Ramat. God is so good!

So anyway... We went to the Hanson's yesterday for lunch. Immediately following the meal, Dave & Lorelie had asked our Burmese/Karen staff to share a couple minutes about their stories. Now, understand that 2/3 are not yet saved, they do not know Jesus - but they are responding to God's leading and pursuit of their hearts. They each stood up and talked about their personal experiences with the situation in Burma.

Htwe Htwe spoke first. She is 27, has lived in Thailand for 6 years, was lucky enough to obtain a Burmese passport, studied science & nursing at a university in Bangkok, and was granted a Thai visa through Imagine Thailand. Her entire family still lives in Burma.

Day Mu is Thai-Karen and is 21. Her parents travelled across the border together, were married in Thailand and had all their children in this country. Day Mu does not have any documentation; she was raised in one of the poorest refugee camps on the border. She grew up without electricity and didn't use a computer until she was 18 (2007). She escaped refugee life through education. Her family will probably always be trapped with refugee status, none of them ever obtaining official identification, and therefore never being recognized by either the Burmese or Thai governments. Day Mu had to travel back to her camp last weekend to attend her grandmother's funeral. She was also back home over Christmas to be baptized.

Ley Sheh is 23, from Karen State in Burma, and speaks 4 languages - Karen, Burmese, Thai and English. He is the master interpreter. He came over with his family when he was just a year old and lived in a refugee camp where his family still lives. When he was 8 he left the camp (illegally) and was sent to live with priests who began teaching him the Bible in Thai. When he was 10 he started attending Thai school which is how he learned to speak the language. He lived outside of the camp for years (illegally, and without his family as a child) and moved back home to be with his family as a teenager. He learned Burmese in the camp schools when he was 16. Ley Sheh talked about living in a camp as a young child, watching the cold winters atop the mountains kill many, dysentary and sickness killing many more. He talked about his village being burned down when he was an infant, and about the first camp his family lived in also being burned down by Karen military.

He also talked about the Imagine Thailand team becoming his family here in Mae Sot.

And all the while I sat listening to these stories from the mouths of people I love - from the mouths of people I would call my friends - my heart broke and my mind heard the words in disbelief. These are people my age. While I was enjoying safety, and toys, and birthday parties these people were living as refugees in Thailand, without papers, illegally, because their own people have disowned them.

I took in every image they described. I digested each word from their mouths. And I could feel my heart swelling for each of them. I know that I love them more today than I did yesterday morning.

Pray for my new friends... For these people who are so quickly becoming my family.

What I do know is...

I am a lover of Jesus. I am the Beloved of my Father, the apple of His eye, and I will forever worship my God.

I am a cross-cultural global worker (some might say missionary) interested in the pursuit of bringing God's kingdom come to the earth. I am for justice - not the kind of justice that is perpetuated through the injustice the judicial system brings, but real justice, true reconciliation, and a love that is transformative in every sense. I believe that idealism is necessary; those who choose to live in the bleak shadows of what is the present reality are truly foolish. I choose to dream. I choose hope. I choose the will of God over my own human logic and finite reasoning.

I am an introvert at heart, but an extrovert needing a little extra alone time at best. I love people, time spent with people, time given to people. Time is the most precious of gifts, and so I am learning to give this gift wisely, to cherish the time that I have and spend it in significant ways. Significance cannot be measured in grandeur or any quantitative quality, but is measured, rather, with heart and soul. I may, at times, give too freely of my time, of myself, and perhaps I have given freely to the wrong people, but I know that when the time comes to recount my experiences I will most regret the moments I did not give. I will value the moments I did.

I truly believe that as a believer I am not of this world, I simply live in it. I don't feel pulled to live for material things, or worldly experiences (though my lifestyle has not always reflected this value). I don't spend my money frivolously, not because I am a great steward with what I've been given, but because I no longer find joy in things or objects obtained in this life. God has granted me a gift of voluntary poverty that stems from my belief in the incarnation of Christ and my responsibility to also live incarnationally; to live like the people I have been called to.

My heart aches and beats, just as surely as the sun heats my skin, for marginalized communities. I am pulled to the slums of India, the inner city of Edmonton, the refugee camps in Thailand (and subsequently Burma), to the small and forgotten communities of the Northwest Territories. This is more than a calling... This is a responsibility that characterizes who I am and who I will choose to be.

Ultimately, I will always choose to be who I am.

Babies Playing in the Hose

Brought to My Knees; Brought to Tears.

I went to the Hanson's place to do homeschooling with the girls this afternoon, a time with them that I am so thankful to have been given. The hours spent over grade 5 language arts and painful science lessons (a subject that is dreaded by all three) are worth the laughs, the moments that things once unknown come to light, and the encounters with God that are inevitable. I am falling in love with these girls so quickly.

We worked for a few hours, and we worked hard. The overall goal, besides the ultimate goal of them having learned something, is to finish classes before March, or at least the majority of the work. March through April are the months of constant short term team hosting, June not offering much time for school work either. And so, we work hard for the few hours we have in a week.

The girls had finished their work for the day, the house now quiet as I began to read, Courtney lounged with her iPod in tow. The sun was starting to set, but slowly, as it lingers in this country more apparently than at home... Or perhaps now I just take time to savour these slow moments. Anyway, the sun was still warming the floors of the house through the maroon curtains, light glinting off the pavement of the driveway, and I heard the calming sound of children laughing outside. I went 10 minutes trying to ignore it, but curiosity moved my feet towards the noise. Meghan and Cami had invited Niao Mai, the toddler from across the street, to play in the hose with them. The days are getting hotter, I'm certain they all loved the cool water on their skin. When I stepped outside I found a naked two year old holding the garden hose upright, spraying the girls and laughing hysterically at their shrill screams and laughter. I loved this moment.

In this moment I saw God moving. I saw love, and compassion, and community at work in a tangible way in my own neighbourhood. I saw that ethnicity, race, language barriers - none of these things played a part in the joy that was so obvious I was nearly brought to tears.

Here's something else that nearly brought me to tears today, in not quite the same way...

There's an NGO across the street from our office called Compasio. They are also working with the Burmese and Karen people in Thailand, with a heart for orphaned and abandoned children. They have 3 orphanage houses, the newest being an infant house that is currently home to 3 babies. The restaurant that often brings Westerners together in Mae Sot is called Casa Mia, which just happens to be right next to the Compasio office.

We all ate at Casa Mia, as we so often do, and in walked the Sustar family, Kelly carrying a 3-month old Burmese baby boy... And one of the cutest babies I had ever seen, mind you. This family has had this baby, Dune, since he was 5 days old. The mother, young and single, was having trouble caring for the child despite Kelly's involvement. Her new plan was to go to Bangkok to sell him. Obviously, they had no other choice but to take him in until the infant house was ready to take another one in.

We asked if after 3 months of welcoming this new life into their family if they had any plans of adoption. Their answer: they've been praying about it, and would love to, but the people they've consulted who have experience in adoptions have told them that without proper identification (which most Burmese refugees do not have) a legal adoption is basically impossible.

I don't understand how a government can allow babies to be sold into slavery, sold into sex trades, and human trafficking, but not allow loving and capable people to care and save children from what seems like the inevitable.

My heart breaks for these nations, these families, these injustices, the systems that keep people enslaved... And the list goes on, and on, and on.

Please pray for governmental identification to be given, somehow, to Burmese and Karen refugees...
Pray that the Sustars will find a way to adopt Dune legally.
Pray against child slavery, human trafficking, and the sex trade that welcome too many every day.

Well, it's Friday!

Today we (and by we I mean the amazing Imagine Thailand team...) are installing a brand new water filtration system at SAW boarding school here in Mae Sot. Though I am not currently present at the installation, we are going to have a celebration later on this afternoon when everything is finished. I'm pretty excited about seeing how all this goes down for two main reasons: #1. This is the main ministry that Imagine Thailand has their hand in as far as Mae Sot goes, and #2. Where there was previously an algae filled basin, there will now be clean drinking water! Yay!

In other news... Tonight is the first night of the international youth group I'm starting. It sounds like this is creating some buzz among MKs (missionary kids) in the area, so I'm looking forward to see who shows up tonight. And I'll be honest, I'm a little nervous to see who shows up too...! I just really want this to be a place the kids look forward to coming, a place of honesty and openness, a place of encouragement and challenge, a place of growth, a place that fights the apathy in the busy lives of MKs. Please please please pray for this!

If you could also pray for Dave & Courtney also... They've been sick for the last few weeks so they both went to the doctor this afternoon, and it turns out Dave has bronchitis. Things are insanely busy here with the installation today, and we also have a team from Canada (Discovery Tour = donors and supporters interested in seeing exactly what they are supporting in Thailand) coming next week. Pray for a speedy recovery, for time that is restful, and that they would both be absolutely renewed... Stat!

Thanks so much, family. Love you all!

OH... I forgot to mention in my last post that last weekend my roommate, Jee (a young Thai-Karen woman) was married! We all went to attend the wedding celebration! It was super interesting being at a Karen wedding - I loved it! I think I want to have a Karen wedding now...

My New (Temporary) Home!

I've been in Mae Sot now for over a week, and I must say, this place feels more like home than Bangkok. I'm not sure if it's the feeling of family that is encouraged and sustained among the Imagine Thailand team, or the quiet stillness of the city in the evening, or the familiar smells and places, but since the moment I set foot here last Tuesday I have felt a peace about transplanting my life here.

I've been working with my supervisors, Dave & Lorelie Hanson and Li-Mei, on getting a more concrete weekly schedule. Here is a quick glimpse into an average week: teaching English at Thai, Karen & Burmese schools (3 schools, 7 classes, and more to come), develop a year's Sunday School curriculum to be implemented immediately, start up an international youth group available for the missionary kids in the area, homeschool/tutor the lovely Hanson girls, Courtney (15), Meghan (13), and Cami (10), work on prep projects for the short term teams coming in March, and accompany the team on random migrant school assessments and water filtration installation/maintenance... And any other intern worthy task that needs to be done at the office! I am kept busy, that's for sure.

During "off" hours (though the staff here barely take any time off) I spend a lot of time at the Imagine Thailand Mission House, the house where the Hanson's currently reside. We eat together, watch movies, dream together,have church, talk about work, share life and hang out at this house quite often.

Beside this house there is a rice field. The land there is dry now, burned for the season. On the other side of this rice field there is a small barn and a couple of wooden cubicle type enclosures raised about two feet off the ground. Along with a few goats, a couple cows, a bull and a calf there are two families currently residing in this mudded area; they are without electricity, without water.

I went a few days ago with Dave & Cami to visit this family, a visit that is starting to become routine. We trekked across the dry ground to the barn, through the mud, past the three day old goats, past the man praying the evening namaz, and walked into the raw and uncensored lives of our new friends. The wife drags her right foot around with crutches, a paralysis that she has lived with since contracting polio at age 5. The husband works a few days a week welding to support his two sons and young niece. They are refugees from Burma, new to Thailand in the last 4 months. She has a university degree in Mathematics, grew up in a Christian family. He is uneducated, a labourer, a Muslim background. They named their sons James and Chris after James Bond and Cristiano Ronaldo.

It is with great pain behind her eyes that comes from the depths of her soul that this woman expresses her wish to give her kids a life of education, a life with stability and security, a life in an English speaking country... And it is through the pain of this conversation with awkward laughter to lighten the mood that she explains that her family has "no chance."

This family lives a 90 second walk from the Imagine Thailand Mission House; a 10 minute walk from the office where I live. Their story is not an unlikely or uncommon one.

Thankfully, through Imagine Thailand and the compassion and love of Christ with which my supervisors live, we have been working to improve our relationship with this family; working to provide for the basic needs that seem extraordinary in their eyes. It is through these moments, these personal conversations, that I am reminded about the basest reasons my heart has led me to this missional life - love God, and love people. I am enthralled at the simplicity of this; the simplicity of providing shoes for someone, the simplicity of sharing a water filtration system, the simplicity of raising money to give adequate healthcare needs, like providing a deaf child with a hearing aid, or an operation that costs $400 CAD to heal a paralyzed leg.

Love God, and love people. It's that simple.

Here are some pics of my time here so far - Bangkok, New Blood Karen school, and Hlee Bee nursery class, a Burmese school I teach at. More to come...!



Lumphini Park in BKK





Down the street from the IT office in BKK




Courtney, Cami & Meghan with our new friends at New Blood




Hwo Hwo Mee




Chin Chin




Day 1 of teaching at Hlee Bee

What to pray for...
Pray for a Thai language teacher to come into my life!
Pray that I will give teaching the time I should to plan, prepare, and better show God's love.
Pray that the Imagine Thailand staff who do not yet know Christ will continue to respond to God's pursuit.
Pray for the refugees and displaced people groups of Burma, both internally and externally.
Pray for peace and freedom in Burma.

Thank you for your commitment and faithfulness to my life, to this ministry, and to our Father.