Tonight is my last night in Mae Sot. I can't believe I've been in Thailand for 3 months already, and frankly, I'm not ready to leave. That's the trouble with putting your heart into people, and ministries, and places... There are pieces of it left behind with an ache acting as a temporary replacement to fill the tiny voids. Tonight I can feel that ache clearer than I ever have before. But there's a part of me that is rejoicing at the reality of this new grief because it only means that I loved during my time here, and loved well.
The list of things that I will miss when I leave Thailand is endless I'm sure. I will miss the heat and the sun; driving and riding motorbikes; Thai lessons; Thai food; Burma and this nations refugee people; migrant schools. I will these things with all of me, but the real reasons I pray to live my life in Mae Sot are my Karen friends in this city. Please keep praying for them, for their families, for their nation, for their freedom.
As I'm getting ready to continue on this journey jumping to yet another adventure I am reminded of all the ways that God has refined my character - everything in me that He has pruned or discarded, the freedom from fear that I have known in this place, the confidence in knowing that I am called. I am thankful for every experience, even the experience of being thrown off the back of a motorbike onto the rough concrete below. And I look ahead to what the future might bring as a result of this trip, perhaps a life in Thailand but definitely a life anchored in a long term missions philosophy.
Tomorrow morning I'm heading to Chiang Mai with the Hansons and Li-Mei for a couple days to say my final goodbyes. On Tuesday I will take a night bus with Li-Mei & Lorelie to Bangkok where I will (hopefully) meet with Peter & Cavelle Dove on my way out of the country, and on Wednesday evening I will fly from BKK to Guongzhou, China. The whirlwind continues...
I look ahead to the next phase of my internship with joy, newly awakened passion, Karen clothing, and a great tan. I look ahead with anticipation about meeting up with my Chinese friends, and excitement in leading new teams. I look ahead though I know there will be more than a few moments I will look back.
What to pray for...
Mae Sot, Burma, Imagine Thailand, the Hansons, the Doves, the Thai and Karen staff, my relationships in this place, and the new ministries born out of them.
Healing in my heart from the ensuing sadness in leaving.
My time in China, that I would be fully present, that we would thank God for our opportunities there, and that we would love well.
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